“An affair simply alerts us to a pre-existing condition, either a troubled relationship or a troubled person” Esther Perel

Being in a couple is a unique relationship that can offer the deepest experience of intimacy, of friendship, of comfort as well as the greatest sense of hurt and betrayal. It is real, they know the best of you, and they know the worst of you.  ​Its failure can cause wounds that take years to heal, and few other relationships have as much power to challenge us and cause us such anguish.  ​Becoming a couple means merging two sets of perspectives, histories, values and worldviews and everything needs to be negotiated.  ​A couple relationship forces you to confront differences so that you can live together and maintain your individuality but also have the ability to put your individuality aside for the good of the couple relationship – both giving and receiving, or resentment can emerge.  ​Becoming a couple is one of the most difficult and complex tasks of adulthood but is often portrayed as the easiest and most romantic stage of the life cycle.  ​In reality, it is a time of transition to a new life stage – whether it’s your first serious relationship, long term partnership or second marriage – it requires new goals, new rules and a different family structure.